​ Dear Friend of Yoga,
 
On a normal night of a normal day, I mentally check my calendar, and then physically recheck it, as I begin my mental, physical, and spiritual preparation for the next day. But this is not a normal time, so when I habitually move to check and recheck my calendar, I am quickly reminded of the cessation of my need to check the calendar right now. There is nothing there tomorrow that I have to do, and it appears as though there won’t be anything there for the next series of indefinite days. With this realization, I find my breath almost being sucked out of me by the thought that I not only don’t have anything to do tomorrow, but I can’t have anything to do tomorrow because I have been told to “stay at home!” 
 
I suspect that most people who have been tethered to a work-schedule or a retirement-routine are, like me, more than a bit thrown off by this “forced seclusion.” Ironically, most of us have also long-desired an extra day in our week, or savor that one extra hour each “fall-back” time change we get in late autumn; but this “blessing” of extra time just seems overwhelming! (Of course, the loss of income is no small concern either!) When it first fell upon us, I truly viewed it as an amazing opportunity: the Great Mystery/the Divine/God/the Universe (yes, whom or whatever!) was offering human beings an opportunity to step away from the mean-spirited, self-centered, market-focused mentality that has rippled across the globe, and to rediscover the kindness, the compassion, and the connectivity that could unite us all. While countries, especially our own, were adopting a more isolationist approach, a virus comes along that says, “Oh, so you want ‘isolation’? Try this on for size!” And in this time, yes, are we not seeing (okay, alongside some hoarding hysteria) new “heroes” and servants of kindness stepping up from all walks of life? But underneath the generosity and sacrifice of volunteerism, there is the more challenging opportunity “to face one’s self,” and one’s very existence. 
   
There are so many neglected projects about my home that I could likely spend a whole year busying myself over things that I have long said that I want to do but never have the time for. So here it is – that time – but to just “busy myself” seems to squander an important part of this “blessing” we have unwantingly received. Yes, there is extraordinary goodness in stepping up and being of service to the needs of others, but as this virus has moved us toward isolation, perhaps we should also better realize the opportunity for self-care, at the deepest and most important spiritual level. And here is where so many of us trip and fall into the oblivion of this indefinite period of quietude.
 
Our present reality reminds me of the throes of starting a practice of meditation. At its deepest level, meditation is the slowing down of thoughts, the emptying of the mind that allows the soft voice of the Self (yep, our connection within to that Great Mystery) to be heard. But such cessation of mental activity, much like the forced cessation of physical activity that we know right now, takes time, and lots of discipline! So, one can begin with “mindfulness” where, instead of emptying the mind, one simply, calmly, and even graciously acknowledges and accepts the feelings, thoughts, and sensations that course through the mind and body incessantly. In this state of mindfulness, however, one might also reach a plateau of awareness from which the observation of these feelings, thoughts, and sensations, leads one to the realization that all of this “busyness” is not as important as one once thought it to be; and so begins the more difficult challenge of letting go of the busyness, setting it aside so that we “hear, feel, and experience” what is truly important.
 
In a way, perhaps, your practice of yoga has given you the start-up tools for this deeper settling in that has fallen upon us. The practice of yoga invites you, automatically, to take that step of “letting go of the busyness” and to just be present to the movement and the sensations of your practice. But that is the “mindfulness” of our period of isolation. After your practice of yoga, beginning even with your period of Savasana, try to just be still and empty enough – no judgments, no “looking for” – so that as the noise of busyness peels away, perhaps that soft voice, like a subtle incense, will waft up from within, offering you the rhythm of a melody from which you can live more truly.  You and I have probably spent the better part of our lives filling our calendars with doing; right now, we have an opportunity to return to our Self, to close the planner and sit still, and to be a human, being.
 
Namaste-
Kevin
 

My St. Patrick’s Day celebration yesterday registered a pretty quiet blip.  Although I had been raised with an awareness of my Irish heritage, and later received the genealogical findings of my ancestors, I never felt any strong cultural and familial affinity until I was almost thirty years old. I can almost envision the exact moment that it hit me; I was sitting on the curb with my two oldest children, who were then but a wee lad and lassie, watching the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Columbus, Ohio. It’s not much of a parade as far as fanfare goes, but I recall thinking how cool it was that on this day, every year, people of Irish descent, and so many others celebrating the culture and spirit of Ireland, could and would shut down central streets in major cities, just to join together and to celebrate “who they are.” I have never just “watched” a St. Patrick’s Day parade ever since.   

“Being Irish” is certainly not “who I am,” and while I do not feel that it, or any legacy ought to give anyone some sense of superiority, knowing some things about my heritage is both intriguing and comforting. I am always fascinated when imagining the struggles and decisions that my ancestors must have made; and the simple, but fundamental, awareness of my “belonging” provides me quiet support. As I have come to a deeper appreciation of the genetic influences of my Irish heritage, I have also experienced, more importantly, the significance of my physical and metaphysical grounding. 

We want and need balance in our lives - in all of its aspects – and good balance needs good grounding. The grounding, of course, doesn’t have to start with one’s heritage, but it is a deep and rich place to begin if it is accessible. But grounding can be, and hopefully is experienced by all in a variety of large and small communities, as well as in the more private encounters with our deepest Self. Of course, yoga helps to foster all of these. Standing on my mat in Tadasana, Mountain pose, lifting my toes up to draw more deeply into the earth of my mat with the balls of my feet and my heels, I can discover a physical manifestation of “being grounded.” This is where and how I stand. But, where do I stand? And for what?  And why?
The ensuing movements and poses of my practice, the challenges and the successes, the fire and the flaw – all of these can sometimes draw me toward the answers to those important questions. 

Knowing something about your roots can provide you self-understanding and self-compassion; and knowing where and how and why you “stand” can be the grounding of your stability and courage. Keep standing in your practice of yoga, and notice how it will move you toward firmer ground. 

For those of you of (any!) Irish descent, a belated happy St. Patrick’s Day to you! And for all of us, may our individual practice of yoga support us with the grounding of stability, and may we as a community of yogis support one another by being the stable grounding that each of us likely needs in such a challenging time.
Namaste.



​

Unknowingly, but not actually surprisingly, I held my last yoga class at LA Fitness for an indefinite period of time last Sunday. Before class began, there was some discussion about the “what ifs” and the “where will we” when the next hammer from this unprecedented experience of the Coronavirus comes down upon us all. I talked then - just two days ago! – with hope about, perhaps, finding some space for those who need and want to continue their yoga practice together. Today, that tone of hope is considerably less confident. Yea, I have probably done a rebellious thing or two in my lifetime, but right now, with all due respects to the “situation at hand,” I find myself bowing to the mandates of “those in charge.”

As I have often said before or during a class, what we do, in this case, yoga, can be done on your own; it is not like some game or competition that needs a team, and certainly not an audience! But what is gained in “sharing a practice with another or others” is not unsubstantial. While it is not unique to yoga alone, there is a rare confluence of energy that emerges from a shared yoga practice. One’s effort in a practice is always personal, but when that practice is shared with or alongside others, that effort creates and becomes part of a larger stream of energy upon which each individual can glide, ride, or surf. Imagine the flow of a strong, energetic river that is fed by innumerable streams that both empty into as well as weave in and out of that river’s surge. The stream of one’s individual practice can flow with clarity and grace (or, amble over rocks and fallen limbs), but alongside others, the energy often swells, and not only buoys one’s physical effort, but also uplifts one’s emotional and/or spiritual well-being, so that when our stream cuts away from the larger flow at the end of class, the momentum carries us further and deeper into our experience of Life. Contributing to and sharing in that outpouring of energy is what many of us will miss most about a suspended “shared practice,” no matter where it might be.

For me, leading a yoga class is far more than simply guiding people through a series of poses and movements. Perhaps more importantly, I try to create and hold a space where that shared energy can more easily come together and be experienced. The practice of yoga gets us “out of our heads” and more into our bodies, and when the play of movement and breath supersede the distraction of negative thoughts and the noise, confusion, and concerns of the outside world, again, that exercise feeds not only our bodies, but our “hearts” as well. So, since we are not allowed to get together, I thought that I might try to encourage you from afar during this interim of cessation by sending out some reflections that might be of help to you or others in getting out of our head, and more into our body and spirit. If you would prefer I not do that, just let me know, and I will simply remove you from this email list I have assembled and/or received – no judgments; of course, you can simply hit the delete button on my emails as well! 

So, for now, I encourage you, at least for awhile, to turn off all of the alarming information streaming toward you every and all day, roll out your mat in some “special place” in your home, and step or sit or lay down on it. Then, remembering the variety of folks with whom you have shared the practice of yoga, keep breathing in and out, slowly, deeply, and fully. Breathe in the goodness of all that Life truly is, and breathe out the best of your own Light and Goodness to all of those yoga friends on whose collective energy you have sometimes been lifted. I promise you, I will continue to do that for you!

​

Practicing ahimsa, non-harming, is intrinsic to EMDR therapy and can be woven into the 8 phases of EMDR therapy as a tool to help clients re-regulate and treat themselves with loving kindness.  Ahimsa is defined within the context of yoga as having respect for all living things and avoiding violence towards others and self.  Ahimsa falls under the Yamas, or moral restraints, in the eight-limb path of yoga.  Yoga includes not only the physical postures, but also mindfulness, mindful breathing, meditation, and a moral guide to use within the context of yoga and in life in general.  The Yamas are part of this moral guide and are yoga’s self-regulating behaviors that teach us how to relate to others and take care of ourselves.  Yoga, as a whole practice, aids in healing trauma and when used in conjunction with EMDR therapy, miraculous changes can occur.
 
Ahimsa does not just inform our work with clients but also how we take care of ourselves as therapists.  In the clinical setting, we practice Ahimsa in the words and actions we use with our clients to create a trauma-sensitive setting.  We also counteract the effects of our own countertransference, vicarious trauma, and burnout as we take a non-harming approach with ourselves.  The whole framework and modality of EMDR therapy embodies Ahimsa as we help our clients heal from trauma and cultivate a peaceful therapeutic setting. 
 
Practicing Ahimsa in phase 1 of EMDR therapy influences the process of history taking with our clients.  As clinicians, we must be mindful of how we conduct a mental health assessment and talk to our clients about their past to avoid retraumatization through asking about unnecessary details in regards to their traumas.  Because of the fragmented nature of how trauma memories are stored, clients may not be able to identify an accurate timeline, or when they do start recounting specific memories, the proverbial can of worms opens and clients become flooded with trauma memories.  We can avoid this by slowly exploring clients’ histories and not worrying about getting the exact historical details.  We must remember  what matters in history taking is the client’s perspective of their experiences and how they’ve integrated these memories into their view of themselves.  Because of the triggering nature of our clients’ pasts, we may need to wait to obtain a full history (and this may not ever come to full fruition) and allow the conversation to be client directed.  Though there are certain nuggets of information necessary to obtain to form a diagnosis and identify a treatment plan, it is more important for the wellbeing of our clients to practice Ahimsa by not asking for too much information too fast. 
 
As we move into phase 2 of EMDR therapy, we can work with our clients to identify resources they can utilize  throughout the therapeutic process and which embodies a way to direct our clients to practice Ahimsa.  This can start as early as the first session as we explore the resources clients already have in place and can utilize in therapy.  Exploring resources in addition to history taking can help counteract  possible retraumatization in phase 1.  The main purpose of resourcing is to help clients tolerate processing the traumas identified during history taking.  During this phase of treatment, we can teach our clients coping skills and resources that will help them stay in their window of tolerance without self injury in thought or deed.  Through guided visualizations of the Light Stream, the Calm Safe Place, and the Container Exercise installed with BLS, we strengthen our clients’ internal resources to enhance Ahimsa.  As a further way to practice Ahimsa, we can also offer to install other individualized positive resources with bilateral stimulation, such as positive experiences, relationships, and achievements.  
 
In phases 3-6 in EMDR therapy, we help clients practice Ahimsa by identifying targets to process and then engaging in bilateral stimulation to desensitize the memories and reprocess the associated negative beliefs.  These beliefs perpetuate internal self-injury in the messages clients tell themselves and external self-injury in the form of harmful coping mechanisms, drug and alcohol abuse, and even cutting.  Flooding and abreactions can occur during processing with clients who are extremely traumatized, pushing them outside their window of tolerance.  Though we want to keep pushing forward to help clients move through these memories, we must practice Ahimsa to help them stay within the space of being comfortably uncomfortable.  This can occur by drawing upon their previously installed positive resources, utilizing different cognitive interweaves, and knowing when to slow the processing train down.  It also involves an understanding of when to integrate modifications into phases 3-6, such as having a client open their eyes during processing, integrating grounding techniques in between sets, and utilizing the container when clients are flooded by memories. By desensitizing these target memories, our clients practice Ahimsa by living peacefully in the present instead of through the lens of past traumas.
 
Traditionally, in the practice of Ahimsa, we tend to think of non-harming in the physical sense.  This is certainly a reality for many of our clients who engage in physical self-harm through cutting, drug and alcohol addiction, and eating disorders.  However, self-harm can present as an internal self-injury through negative self-talk.  As clients desensitize their traumatic memories, the associated negative cognitions reprocess, allowing for the integration of positive cognitions, which is then installed with bilateral stimulation.  This allows clients to let go of negative cognitions that do not serve them and minimizes negative self-talk and coincidental internal self-injury.  Through this, our clients are actively practicing Ahimsa by listening to their positive internal voice.
 
A further practice of physical non-harming occurs in the body scan phase in EMDR therapy.  We ask our clients to scan their body and notice any disturbances while thinking about the target memory and positive cognition.  Any residual disturbances they may report can be lingering somatic experiences of the traumatic memories, and reprocessing these can lead to further healing.  Though this phase of EMDR therapy may seem extraneous, it allows for some of the deepest processing due to trauma memories being stored at a very base body level.  It is often the very last fibrous roots of trauma memories that need to be weeded out.  The body scan offers an in-depth way to heal physically from the traumas, leading to a continued state of peace and calm in which to continue practicing Ahimsa. 
 
EMDR therapy is based on the three pronged model of addressing and reprocessing past, present, and future targets to help clients reach optimal functioning.  Reprocessing past and present targets offers a way for clients to heal.  Installing a future template lays the groundwork for an ongoing mindset of practicing Ahimsa.  By visualizing positive ways to handle related situations, clients automatically create an internal positive environment to respond to new and different situations.  This is also a way to carry their installed positive cognitions into future scenarios to which they will respond.  This will help them to strengthen their practice of Ahimsa as they continue to install and strengthen their positive cognitions and strengths. 
 
As EMDR therapists, we hear trauma all day long.  Reprocessing these memories leads to so much healing for our clients but can take a toll on us as therapists through countertransference, vicarious trauma, and burnout.  It is imperative as clinicians to practice Ahimsa ourselves.  This may manifest as taking a mental health day, limiting the number of clients seen back to back, making sure to take a quick break in between sessions to eat, drink water, and to answer the call of nature.  It should also include a rigorous self-care routine outside of work in which you engage in activities that ground and replenish you.  In sessions, staying grounded and mindful while practicing Ahimsa will help you to stay present with your clients without absorbing all of the emotions and energies they are outputting as they process their own trauma.  Having a self-practice of Ahimsa will enhance your abilities as a clinician and assist in staying engaged with your clients.
 
Practicing Ahimsa guides us in living in a peaceful way within ourselves and within the world.  Not only does non-harming refer to refraining from physically and verbally hurting someone else, it also applies to how we treat and speak to ourselves.  As EMDR clinicians, we are teaching our clients to practice non-harming through reprocessing their traumas in the 8 phases and installing positive cognitions that inform how they live their lives moving forward.  Through Ahimsa we discover the light within ourselves that directs us in our lives.  

It’s not what’s wrong with you, it’s what happened to you.  

People consistently show up for therapy thinking they are crazy, inadequate, damaged, abnormal, intrinsically flawed, incomplete, and deficient because they are innately defective.  These beliefs are actually the result of adverse childhood experiences and traumatic events.

Changing this perspective from “what is wrong with you” to “what happened to you” changes the course of therapy and assists in externalizing negative experiences and cognitions.  You are not innately defective. You believe these things about yourself because of a wide variety of adverse experiences that reinforce these beliefs.  

Need proof?  
CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study is one of the largest investigations of childhood abuse and neglect and later-life health and well-being.  It scores the number of adverse childhood experiences a person experiences before the age of 18. There are 10 types of childhood trauma measured in the ACE Study. Five are personal -- physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect. Five are related to other family members: a  parent who's an alcoholic, a mother who's a victim of domestic violence, a family member in jail, a family member diagnosed with a mental illness, and the disappearance of a parent through divorce, death or abandonment. The ACE Study reveals a relationship between the number of ACEs and severity of negative health and well-being outcomes across one’s life.  As the number of ACEs increases, so does the risk of alcoholism and illicit drug addiction, depression, health-related quality of life, heart disease, liver disease, poor work performance, financial stress, risk for intimate partner violence, sexually transmitted diseases, smoking, suicide attempts, early initiation of sexual activity, adolescent pregnancy, risk for sexual violence, and poor academic achievement.  In a nutshell, the adverse experiences present in childhood lead to so much stress on the body and mind creating a whole slew of negative health, mental health, and addiction diagnoses later in life.

Changing the focus of therapy from coping with symptoms to healing adverse childhood experience allows the present to be free from the influence of the past. ​